Toxic Relationship Recovery Program

Benefits that you can expect from the Toxic Relationship Recovery Program:

  1. You work through a step-by-step process that moves you toward clear and strong sense of self and more satisfying relationships where there is room for your needs to get met—at your own speed.
  2. You have support throughout your recovery process. After lengthy exposure to toxicity, you need an advocate in your corner.
  3. You become less and less willing to tolerate the effects of a toxic relationship.
  4. You develop the ability to predict toxic behavior and manoeuvre around it without having your buttons pressed.
  5. Our ongoing therapeutic interaction provides a place where you can celebrate your growing capacity to make healthy decisions, choose sanity over drama and act with self-care.
  6. You get ongoing practice in asserting your needs and maintaining healthy boundaries. It’s not a one-time thing; it becomes a way of being. That takes time, ongoing practice, feedback, and support in strengthening your skills.
  7. You get to discover the unconscious core beliefs and conflicts that might stop you from leaving the toxic relationship and sabotage your capacity to choose healthier and life affirming relationships.

Understand that every client we work with has a unique process. In general, this is the sequence and activities in the program.

I have never come across a man with such fire in his heart! His eyes penetrate right through you and he has the ability to see your true self. Daniel is one of the most loving, devoted, caring individuals I have ever worked with.

David G, Teacher, Boulder, CO

Daniel has helped me to sort out challenges in life and to better understand what I am feeling in the context of stress. I value his broad knowledge, his smooth attunement and his experienced guidance. He represents for me an ideal partner to develop personally and professionally.

Ingo S, Business Manager, Banking, Hong Kong

He’s a gifted leader and men’s coach. He has razor sharp insights, and always delivers them with strength and gentleness. His personal integrity, and willingness to share and live what he teaches, has helped me to be a more open, loving, and stronger man.

Rick J – Director eLearning Services, Denver, CO

Working with Daniel continues to be an incredibly valuable and important part of my life. He is an incredibly skillful listener, full of empathy and authenticity. Through his sharp insights and caring support, he has helped me make sense of my life experiences and behaviors while providing me with the hope and mental tools required to better myself. I strongly believe that anybody seeking a life coach, therapist or guide would be very well served by seeing Daniel (either individually or as part of a men’s group)

G.T IT support in Banking, Hong Kong

Daniel is one of the most authentic men I’ve had the honor to meet. He wastes no time and cuts straight to the chase. Under his skillful guidance I became more aware of the obstacles that affect my well-being as well as the well-being of those around me.

Slava G, US Army, Retired, Boulder, CO

Daniel is extremely skilled at inviting both men and women to deepen into more intimacy and connection with each other, even amidst conflict or painful emotions. His style is a beautiful mix of friendly and compassionate but also powerful and directive

Lara I – Dating coach

His laser-sharp skills pick up on the subtle, yet incredibly vital, cues that lead to real transformation, unfolding, and ability to relate deeply and authentically. I highly recommend Daniel for anyone who is looking to heal, transform, or simply go deeper in their romantic relationships and connection with others.

Krista B Designer, Boulder, CO

Daniel has a wonderfully welcoming, relaxed style, making you feel instantly at ease in his company and trusting of his confidence. Spending time with him was like opening the curtains to our relationship, allowing us to see with clarity what our individual and collective needs and requirements are, and also to understand what buttons to try to avoid pressing, and how to deal with it when they sometimes, inevitably, get pressed. Our time with Daniel has been extremely rewarding and we’d like to thank him for all his listening, coaching and imparted wisdom

B & N Investment Banking HK

Step One: Awareness

Our work begins with developing insight and awareness about what toxic relationship are.

You’ll learn to recognize and predict toxic habits and behaviors such as gaslighting, manipulation, control and bullying so you can gain a new perspective of the toxic relationship dynamic and better understand how it affects your self esteem and why it confuses and enrages you.

You’ll also come to understand the nature of your own participation in the toxic dynamic so you can learn how to unhook your habits of pleasing, accommodating, being overly responsible or simply allowing the abuse to continue.

From there, we’ll explore the underlying emotions such as anxiety, shame, powerlessness, or loneliness that get triggered when you engage in the negative relationship cycle.

Lastly, you will also learn about the core beliefs and patterns (and how they originated) that make it so difficult to either remove yourself from this relationship or contain its toxic effect on your life and what to start doing about that.

“Working with Daniel has been life changing. He exudes “living in the moment”. Just sitting next to him, I sense a calm within myself that I’ve not known otherwise. The weeks that I spent in group work with Daniel have shown me more of myself than I ever could have imagined, and I am better for it.”

– Nathan W., CEO of Outsource Locally, Boulder, CO

Step Two: Responsibility

You will discover what keeps you emotionally invested in such a difficult relationship.

Together, we will examine your own emotional and relational history, your levels of self-esteem and core beliefs about love, boundaries and what you feel you deserve. We also examine your capacity for adequate self-care and self protection.

This process will help you to develop the strength to begin inoculating yourself from the drama cycle and begin cultivating a healthy state of mind.

From there, I will help you to develop coping strategies for the inherent powerlessness, anxiety and loneliness that get triggered in such a toxic relationship.

Step Three: Preparation

Before you’re able to make significant changes to your difficult relationship, we will go through a preparation stage so you can explore exactly what kind of changes you want to make and what inner and outer resources you will need.

“Daniel’s direct, no BS style, immediately cut through to the core of what was creating problems in my relationship and helped me figure out what to do about it.”

– Shanti Rubens, Lawyer, Australia

We’ll also determine what the outcomes might be so that you’re emotionally and psychologically prepared.

This stage is often very difficult because of your predisposition to lack adequate self protection (healthy boundaries) coupled with the onslaught of rage, manipulation, and gaslighting from the toxic person.

That’s why we will come up with a game plan to manage all of this, predict all of the toxic person’s reactions and responses so you can develop a healthy response to any chaos that arises.

This crucial step will help you develop resistance to narcissistic and toxic abuse in this relationship and beyond.

Step Four: Assertiveness

Next, you will learn to drop the grip that the drama cycle has over you so you can confidently put your own needs first.

You’ll begin to develop appropriate and healthy boundaries and cultivate skills to stay outside of the drama cycle which the toxic person will try to keep you engaged in.

Step Five: Resilience 

Setting boundaries is one thing. Keeping them is another.

So, we will work together to strengthen your ability to sustain healthy and clear boundaries in the face of toxic protest,  and attempts to control you or suck you back into the drama. This will include finding ways to keep you safe from further toxicity or abuse as you unhook from old patterns that keep you tolerating the relationships e.g over responsibility, care-taking…..

You will learn how to work with all the difficult thoughts and feelings such as  guilt, loss, loneliness, or selfishness, that will arise when you set these boundaries.

As you practice advocating for yourself, you’ll naturally make better choices that span far beyond this relationship and make you a more self-confident and emotionally flexible person in all areas of your life.

“Daniel has a rare gift for facilitating meaningful connections in the moment — felt experiences rather than mental concepts. These experiences show rather than tell couples how they can create more authentic, intimate, and satisfying relationships.”

– Allison C, Consultant, Cleveland, OH

Step Six: Exploration

With a firm foundation in place, we’ll get to look back at your life and history in more detail to identify what happened and what you learnt that allows you to even tolerate and participate in such an unhealthy dynamic.

We’ll work together to identify any remaining unhealthy patterns and internal conflicts from both past and present that influence your vulnerability to toxic relationships, and make this part of your life as toxicity immune as possible.

We will address all remaining grief and relationship trauma that’s holding you back. And build crucial skills for dealing with difficult feelings and old emotional habits.

Step Seven: Integration 

You will learn how to strengthen your self-esteem, cultivate self protection and develop a plan for sustained emotional and psychological self-care designed to support you as you build newer, stronger connections and dissolve your fear of being alone.

You will undertake a deep reset and equip yourself for a life of healthy relationships that will help you  develop an internal map of what secure and healthy relationships look like. You’ll also learn how to pick a much more appropriate partners and you’ll be immediately turned off by anybody who displays toxic behavior.

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Too busy traveling to meet in person at my Hong Kong office? With flexible, completely confidential video conferencing, I can provide online psychotherapy services to professionals across the globe – no matter if you’ve just stepped off the plane in Dubai or you’re jetting back to London.